I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years," she announced with some small sense of achievement. "I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade.

How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towards house demolition?

Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.

Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isn"t what it used to be?

The industrial age had only just begun; the planet had reached its Best Before date.

The Goliath Corporation was to altruism what Genghis Khan was to soft furnishings.

Goodness is weakness, pleasantness is poisonous, serenity is mediocrity and kindness is for losers. The best reason for committing loathsome and detestable acts – and let’s face it, I am considered something of an expert in this field – is purely for their own sake. Monetary gain is all very well, but it dilutes the taste of wickedness to a lower level that is obtainable by almost anyone with an overdeveloped sense of avarice. True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good.