This time, for the first time, I saw the possibilities in giving up. I even found hope in it.

That's why you did it. You wanted your world to collapse around you. You wanted everything to get as dark as possible.

You can hear rumors. But you can't know them.

I tried getting my dad to buy me a beeper for my birthday,” he says, “but he thinks only doctors and drug dealers need them.

Maybe it didn’t seem like a big deal to you Zach. But now, I hope you understand. My world was collapsing. I needed those notes. I needed any hope those notes might have offered. And you? You took that hope away. You decided I didn’t deserve to have it.

God, I am freaking out. Maybe he doesn’t know. Maybe I just look guilty of something and he’s picking up on that.

A flood of emotions rushes into me. Pain and anger. Sadness and pity. But most surprising of all, hope.