Will I ever get control of my life? Will I always be shoved back and pushed around by those I trust?

Because when you're posed, you know someone's watching. You put on your very best smile. You let your sweetest personality shine.

No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people. Oftentimes, we have no clue. Yet we push it just the same.

That's why you did it. You wanted your world to collapse around you. You wanted everything to get as dark as possible.

Teens in the '90s had the same basic desires as they do now.

Like driving along a bumpy road and losing control of the steering wheel, tossing you—just a tad—off the road. The wheels kick up some dirt, but you're able to pull it back. Yet no matter how hard you try to drive straight, something keeps jerking you to the side. You have so little control over anything anymore. And at some point, the struggle becomes too much—too tiring—and you consider letting go. Allowing tragedy... or whatever... to happen.

I sat. And I thought. And the more I thought, connecting the events in my life, the more my heart collapsed.