I didn't feel physically sick. But mentally. My mind was twisting in so many ways. (...) We once saw a documentary on migraines. One of the men interviewed used to fall on his knees and bang his head against the floor, over and over during attacks. This diverted the pain from deep inside his brain, where he couldn't reach it, to a pain outside that he had control over.
Jay AsherSometimes we have thoughts that even we don't understand. Thoughts that aren't even trueโthat aren't really how we feelโbut they're running through our heads anyway because they're interesting to think about.
Jay Asherand i walked for hours the mist growing thick and whole the thought of disappaering like that, so simply, made me so happy
Jay AsherThatโs when I said it. Thatโs when I whispered to her, โIโm so sorry.โ Because inside, I felt so happy and sad at the same time. Sad that it took me so long to get there. But happy that we got there together.
Jay AsherBecause no, I didnโt push her away. I didnโt add to her pain or do anything to hurt her. Instead, I left her alone in that room. The only person who mightโve been able to reach out and save her from herself. To pull her back from wherever she was heading. I did what she asked and I left. When I should have stayed.
Jay Asher