You can't go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is...now.

Because no, I didn’t push her away. I didn’t add to her pain or do anything to hurt her. Instead, I left her alone in that room. The only person who might’ve been able to reach out and save her from herself. To pull her back from wherever she was heading. I did what she asked and I left. When I should have stayed.

Because when you're posed, you know someone's watching. You put on your very best smile. You let your sweetest personality shine.

Everything...affects everything

How many times had I let myself connect with someone only to have it thrown back in my face?

I wanted people to trust me, despite anything they'd heard. And more than that, I wanted them to know me. Not the stuff they thought they knew about me. No, the real me. I wanted them to get past the rumors. To see beyond the relationships I once had, or maybe still had but that they didn't agree with.

I've always loved brainstorming with other writers, and I consider having my work critiqued a part of that brainstorming.