A consolidation makes sense only if you can lower your overall interest rate. Many people consolidate by taking out a home equity line loan or home equity line of credit (HELOC), refinancing a mortgage, or taking out a personal loan. They then use this cheaper debt to pay off more expensive debt, most frequently credit card loans, but also auto loans, private student loans, or other debt.

In most cases, if you've gotten to this point, you've already received a letter or phone message from your creditor with the name and extension of a representative. If you haven't, you can call the toll-free number on your bill, but keep in mind that the person who answers may not have the power to negotiate a settlement. Ask to speak to someone who is either a supervisor or in the settlement department, if the creditor has one (as many do).

The interest rate you receive, however, is contingent on your credit score.

The debt settlement company will direct you to stop paying your creditor and instead send the money directly to them each month. The company's goal is to demonstrate to your creditor that you don't have the money to pay up - that's your leverage. After a few months, the company will typically go to the creditor and say, "I'm holding X dollars on behalf of your customer. He doesn't have the money to pay you, so you should take this amount as a settlement or you'll end up with nothing." If the creditor wants to get paid badly enough, it will take the money.

You can have a do-over starting today. But you have to get over the feeling that it's too late

Pay cash. For some reason, it's harder for people psychologically to part with their cash than it is to swipe a card. Maybe it's the act of physically seeing the money change hands, or maybe it's because you don't want to break a $20 for a $2 cup of coffee.

It's not about having it all. It's about having what you value most.