I would never be part of anything. I would never really belong anywhere, and I knew it, and all my life would be the same, trying to belong, and failing. Always something would go wrong. I am a stranger and I always will be, and after all I didn’t really care.

I have tried," I said, "but he does not believe me. It is too late for that now" (it is always too late for truth, I thought).

...I know all about myself now, I know. You've told me so often. You haven't left me one rag of illusion to clothe myself in.

The perpetual hunger to be beautiful and that thirst to be loved which is the real curse of Eve.

But why do you want to talk to me?' He is going to say: 'Because you look so kind,' or 'Because you look so beautiful and kind,' or, subtly, 'Because you look as if you'll understand....' He says: 'Because I think you won't betray me.' I had meant to get this mean to talk to me and tell me all about it, and then be so devastatingly English that perhaps I should manage to hurt him a little in return for all the many times I've been hurt.... 'Because I think you won't betray me, because I think you won't betray me....' Now it won't be so easy.

Of course she had some pathetic illusions about herself or she would not be able to go on living.

I want more of this feeling - fire and wings.