Now I no longer wish to be loved, beautiful, happy or successful. I want one thing and one thing only - to be left alone.

...morbidly, attracted him to strangeness, to recklessnesss, even unhappiness.

Every word I say has chains round its ankles; every thought I think is weighted with heavy weights. Since I was born, hasn't every word I've said, every thought I've thought, everything I've done, been tied up, weighted, chained? And mind you, I know that with all this I don't succeed. Or I succeed in flashes only too damned well. ...But think how hard I try and how seldom I dare. Think - and have a bit of pity. That is, if you ever think, you apes, which I doubt.

Some must cry so that others may be able to laugh the more heartily. Sacrifices are necessary.

We can't all be happy, we can't all be rich, we can't all be lucky - and it would be so much less fun if we were... There must be the dark background to show up the bright colours.

It was like letting go and falling back into water and seeing yourself grinning up through the water, your face like a mask, and seeing the bubbles coming up as if you were trying to speak from under the water. And how do you know what it's like to try to speak from under water when you're drowned?

Now I no longer wish to be loved, beautiful, happy or successful. I want one thing and one thing only - to be left alone.