For fate may hang on any moment and at any moment be changed.

I know our feelings can be so unbearable that we employ ingenious strategies – unconscious strategies – to keep those feelings away. We do a feelings-swap, where we avoid feeling sad or lonely or afraid or inadequate, and feel angry instead. It can work the other way, too – sometimes you do need to feel angry, not inadequate; sometimes you do need to feel love and acceptance, and not the tragic drama of your life. It takes courage to feel the feeling – and not trade it on the feelings-exchange, or even transfer it altogether to another person.

Not much touches us, but we long to be touched. We lie awake at night willing the darkness to part and show us a vision.

When I say 'I will be true to you' I am drawing a quiet space beyond the reach of other desires.

I would eat my way into perdition to taste you.

I seem to have run in a great circle, and met myself again on the starting line.

The Buddhists say there are 149 ways to God. I'm not looking for God, only for myself, and that is far more complicated. God has had a great deal written about Him; nothing has been written about me. God is bigger, like my mother, easier to find, even in the dark. I could be anywhere, and since I can't describe myself I can't ask for help.