It was almost enough to make me feel emotion.

I sighed; as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.

It happens; incompetence is rewarded more often than not.

I thought about the nice clothes that I always wore. Well of course I did. I took pride in being the best dressed monster in Dade County.

A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches

What a terrible thing life can be.

What do you want a clock for?” “To find out what time it is,” I said. “I think that’s the usual purpose.