I stood up. It was all too much. I could not even meet my own expectations, and to be asked to deal with all theirs too was suffocating.

This was just no fun. I wanted my brain back.

It was clear to me that it wouldn't matter what I did - they would never truly appreciate me or learn what I had to offer. They were far beyond fickle - they were insensible, like kittens,predatory little things, distracted by the first bit of string or shiny bauble that rolled across the floor, and nothing I could ever say or do could possibly make any kind of dent in their willful ignorance.

In its own way the kiss had been an act of murder.

It’s an odd term, 'girlfriend,' particularly for grown persons. And in practice it provides an even odder concept. Generally speaking, in adults it described a woman, not a girl, who was willing to provide sex, not friendship. In fact, from what I had observed it was quite possible for one to actively dislike one’s girlfriend, although of course true hatred is reserved for marriage.

Or was he saying, "Hi! Wanna play?" And I did. Of course I did.

For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being.