Divorce is contagious. That's right - when you have a close couple friend split up, it increases your chances of getting a divorce by 75 percent.

One study found that people who smile in childhood photographs are less likely to get a divorce.

I don't care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. Marriage is hard.

Beyond the profound federal perks, married people make more money; we're healthier, physically and emotionally; we produce happier, more stable and more successful kids; we have more sex than our supposedly swinging single friends; we even live longer.

[Newlyweds,] these optimistic young bastards, promise to honor and cherish each other through hot flashes and mid-life crises and a cumulative 50-pound weight gain, until that far-off day when one of them is finally able to rest in peace. You know, because they can't hear the snoring anymore.

Divorce is contagious. That's right - when you have a close couple friend split up, it increases your chances of getting a divorce by 75 percent.

Women, we care a great deal about being thin and good looking, whereas men mostly care about sex - ideally with women who are thinner and better looking than they are.