Look, Mother, I am never going to be thin. I'm Norwegian. If you wanted a thin daughter, you should not have married a man whose female ancestors carried cows home from the pasture

It's a good thing he broke up with you because now you're free for when the right man finds you. Your prince is on his way." "Right. I'm sure he was on his way but a truck hit him.

Everybody's crooked. The trick is to find out how they're bent.

Be sober, be vigilant because your adversary the Devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

Where were all the women gamblers? It wasn't as if being a woman wasn't a huge risk all by itself. Twenty-eight percent of female homocide victims were killed by husbands or lovers. Which, come to think of it, was probably why there weren't any women gamblers. Living with men was enough of a gamble.

Of course it hurt you neanderthal! See that? Thats blood. If theres blood, theres pain. Its like smoke and fire.

You know who you remind me of? The kid cop in Lethal Weapon 3. You know, the one who says, 'it's my twenty-first birthday today', and right away you know he's dead meat?