Really, The smart thing to do was to stop dating and get a cat.

What i'm trying to tell you," Min said, "is that im going to grow up to be one of those chubby old ladies. It's in my genes. Like self raising flour. i'm going to pouf." "thats going to work out well for me," Cal said. "because i'm going to grow up to be one of those horny old men who chases chubby old ladies around the couch.

I had you pictured dead in a pool of blood in front of the fireplace. And now you show up alive, and I want to kill you myself. (Zack)

Once you know the truth, it's always obvious

If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to be a horrible warning." -Gwen Goodnight

If you can't be a good example, then be a terrible warning.

Feel no guilt. Getting married and giving birth does not mean that you have sold your life away to perfectly healthy people who can get their own damn socks.