The guitar's still around me. I slip it off and put it down. I want to feel him. To feel his breath on my neck. The warmth of his skin. To feel something other than sadness. Hold me, I tell him silently. Hold me here. To this place. This life. Make me want you. Want this. Want something. Please
Jennifer DonnellyBecause in a small dark room, a broken child lies on a filthy bed and stares up at a high window. He waits for me, too. And IโI who have failed at everything and have failed everyoneโI must not, I cannot, I will not fail him.
Jennifer DonnellyCry your grief to God. Howl to the heavens. Tear your shirt. Your hair. Your flesh. Gouge out your eyes. Carve out your heart. And what will you get from Him? Only silence. Indifference. But merely stand looking at the playbills, sighing because your name is not on them, and the devil himself appears at your elbow full of sympathy and suggestions. And that's why I did it....Because God loves us, but the devil takes an interest.
Jennifer DonnellyThere were times when I lifted my face to the sky, stretched my arms wide to the winter night, and laughed out loud, so happy was I. The memory of it makes me laugh now, but not from happiness. Be careful what you show the world. You never know when the wolf is watching.
Jennifer DonnellyThere is a ghost here. A lonely, heartbroken spirit. The ghost of everything that could've been and never was.
Jennifer Donnelly