Facebook is that successful guy you're supposed to want to date, but you can't keep your mind off the beautiful freak in the corner. Twitter is my freak.

Malibu: With sounds of waves crashing, and the ocean at the doorstep, you feel like you are hours away from civilization. And with L.A. traffic, YOU ARE.

I have always been quite good at falling in love, but I don't pretend to know anything about literal happily ever afters.

My voice falls into Southern drawl when I am tired, drunk, or in trouble. Too often, my accent is attacked by all three of these realities.

My heart had a crush on him from the moment we met, but it was faint, and the rest of me stubbornly refused to play along.

I am not being overly harsh. Overtly hostile, yes, but exactly the right amount of harsh.

Facebook is that successful guy you're supposed to want to date, but you can't keep your mind off the beautiful freak in the corner. Twitter is my freak.