In real life, bad things happen and they're not funny, and then bad things happen and they can be funny. When you're unhappy you don't go an entire time without laughing. You don't go your whole life without laughing. It's just life.

I love Photoshop more than anything in the world!

I’d rather look chubby on screen and like a person in real life.

I find a certain peace by thinking of me in public as sort of an avatar self. You out there can have the avatar me.

Yeah, I screamed in Daniel Radcliffe's face. We were both doing Letterman. I grabbed him by the shoulder. Of course, I'm in 6-inch heels. That makes me 6-foot-4. I'm towering over him, saying, 'I love Harry Potter!' His security people were nodding to each other - should we go?

My family went on a cruise, and I got a terrible haircut. FYI: Never get your hair cut on a cruise. And I had, like, this blonde curly 'fro, and I walked into the gym the first day back in seventh grade and everyone was staring at me, and for some reason I thought, I know what I need to do! And I just started sprinting from one end of the gym to the other, and I thought it was hilarious. But nobody else at that age really did. It was genuinely weird

I can't hear myself. I can stare at my double chin all I want, but hearing this androgynous voice, you can't even tell what sex I am.