I thought: Just one step. One step at a time. You don’t have to do them all at once.

I just sat there letting that music cover me like a big, cozy blanket.

Music did that to me, just like God was supposed to, because music seemed both magic and holy.

The thing I realize is, that it's not what you take, it's what you leave.

Since I stopped writing, I read more than ever. Other people's words, not my own - my words are gone.

But I bring it up to let you know that this is the way I feel right now. Like Pluto and Jupiter are aligned with the earth and I'm floating.

I should be happy, but instead I feel nothing. I feel a lot of nothing these days. I've cried a few times, but mostly I'm empty, as if whatever makes me feel and hurt and laugh and love has been surgically removed, leaving me hollowed out like a shell.