In short? It is exhausting being me. Pretending to be normal is draining and requires amazing amounts of energy and Xanax.

the most terribly human moments - the ones we want to pretend never happened - are the very moments that make us who we are today. ... You are defined not by life's imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them.

Knock-knock, motherfucker.

When Hailey was born my first thought was that I needed a drink and that hospitals should have bars in them.

High School Is Life’s Way of Giving You a Record Low to Judge the Rest of Your Life By)

But really, what else are you going to talk about in line at the liquor store? Childhood trauma seems like the natural choice, since it’s the reason why most of us are in line there to begin with.

...and whenever I had menstral cramps, I could just pretend that Voldemort was close.