I like you just the way I am.

My parents ... are more like cats. They accidentally had a litter of kittens, and then emotionally moved on to whatever ball of yarn rolled past their line of sight.

Throughout my childhood, my parents dropped me off at a multitude of therapists' offices in hopes that I'd avoid growing up to be the kind of asshole who writes books about them. Also because it was sometimes easier than finding a nanny.

Before you meet the love of your life, there's usually one guy you date that you try to convince yourself is him. Let me save you some time: He's not.

I think the power of persuasion would be the greatest superpower of all time.

There are two types of people in the world: those who think everyone needs therapy, and those who have never been.

I never had credit card debt... I was very much about trying to gain my freedom, so it was about saving.