It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

If he were a man of strong mind, it only gave him fits; but a person of mere average intellect it usually sent mad.

I respect the truth too much to drag it out on every occasion.

It is only the first baby that takes up the whole of a woman's time.Five or six do not require nearly so much attention as one.

In the future there are going to be no pretty girls, for the simple reason there will be no plain girls against which to contrast them. Of late I have done some systematic reading of ladies papers. The plain girl submits to a course of "treatment." In eighteen months she bursts upon Society an acknowledged beauty.

We are but the veriest, sorriest slaves of our stomach. Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends; watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgment.

Oh, give me back the good old days of fifty years ago,“ has been the cry ever since Adam's fifty-first birthday.