I did not intend to write a funny book, at first. I did not know I was a humorist. I have never been sure about it. In the middle ages, I should probably have gone about preaching and got myself burnt or hanged.

Idling has always been my strong point.

There is no fun in doing nothing when you have nothing to do. Wasting time is merely an occupation then, and a most exhausting one.

I don't know why it should be, I am sure; but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.

We are but the veriest, sorriest slaves of our stomach. Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends; watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgment.

What the eye does not see, the stomach does not get upset over

Angels may be very excellent sort of folk in their way, but we, poor mortals, in our present state, would probably find them precious slow company.