I plodded conscientiously through the twenty-six letters, and the only malady I could conclude I had not got was housemaid's knee.

I like cats.... When I meet a cat, I say, "Poor Pussy!" and stoop down and tickle the side of its head; and the cat sticks up its tail in a rigid, cast-iron manner, arches its back, and wipes its nose up against my trousers; and all is gentleness and peace.

If there is one person I do despise more than another, it is the man who does not think exactly the same on all topics as I do.

It is very strange, this domination of our intellect by our digestive organs. We cannot work, we cannot think, unless our stomach wills so. It dictates to us our emotions, our passions.... We are but the veriest, sorriest slaves of our stomach. Reach not after morality and righteousness, my friends; watch vigilantly your stomach, and diet it with care and judgment. Then virtue and contentment will come and reign within your heart, unsought by any effort of your own; and you will be a good citizen, a loving husband, and a tender father—a noble, pious man.

I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left, and have felt much better ever since.

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Being poor is a mere trifle. It is being known to be poor that is the sting.