I don't know why it should be, I am sure; but the sight of another man asleep in bed when I am up, maddens me.

The proverbial Englishman, we know from old chronicler Froissart, takes his pleasures sadly, and the Englishwoman goes a step further and takes her pleasures in sadness itself.

I respect the truth too much to drag it out on every occasion.

It is a most extraordinary thing, but I never read a patent medicine advertisement without being impelled to the conclusion that I am suffering from the particular disease therein dealt with in its most virulent form.

If he were a man of strong mind, it only gave him fits; but a person of mere average intellect it usually sent mad.

We must not think of the things we could do with, but only of the things that we can't do without.

I did not intend to write a funny book, at first. I did not know I was a humorist. I have never been sure about it. In the middle ages, I should probably have gone about preaching and got myself burnt or hanged.