One can't say how one behaved or why, really. Such situations, they are far more complex than any either/or proposition. It is simplistic to produce events in pairs and lean them against each other like cards. I suppose if you a playing go or shogi, then such a thing might be helpful, but that is not life.
Jesse BallI don't start with an idea or concept in the sense that I flesh out an idea or concept and set it at the center of something.
Jesse BallDifferent times and different structures make more sense at one point in life than at another.
Jesse Ball