When I was governor, if I told a joke in front of the press - I learned. I would go, "That was a joke, joke, joke," and I'd say it three times.

There is much more to being a patriot and a citizen than reciting the pledge or raising a flag.

If waterboarding's OK, why don't we let our police do it to suspects so we can learn what they know? We only seem to waterboard Muslims... Have we waterboarded anyone else?

When you elect chicken hawks, chicken hawks take you to war.

Dusty Rhodes wouldn't win a body building contest for best abs, MacMahon, he'd win for MOST abs.

I have metal in my body, so every time I go to an airport ,the metal detector goes off.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.