The wacky thing about those bad guys is that you can't count on them to be obvious. They forget to wax their mustaches and goatees, leave their horns at home, send their black hats to the dry cleaner's. They're funny like that.

Me and polite have never been on close terms.

Nobody can be bad at everything. There’s no such thing as a perfect screwup.

Now I feel like James Bond. Suave and intelligent, breaking all the codes while looking fabulous.

Unicorns," I said. "Very dangerous. You go first.

Better safe than exsanguinated.

Bob wasn't precisely a friend to me but... I was used to him. In a way he was family, the mouthy, annoying, irritable cousin who was always insulting you but who was definitely at Thanksgiving dinner. I had never considered the possibility that one day he might be something else.