New rule: every fantasy author who doesn't treat horses like tireless hairy motorcycles automatically gets a Hugo.

...bookstores, libraries... they're the closest thing I have to a church.

Torches," Porak ordered. "This is dumb," Jig grumbled as one of the others handed out torches. "Why not run ahead and warn any intruders that we're coming? Maybe we should sing, too, in case they're blind.

I like big books and I cannot lie. You other readers can’t deny That when a kid walks in with The Name of the Wind Like a hardbound brick of win. Story bling. Wanna swipe that thing Cause you see that boy is speeding Right through the book he’s reading. I’m hooked and I can’t stop pleading. Wanna curl up with that for ages, All thousand pages. Reviewers tried to warn me. But with that plot you hooked Me like Bradley. Ooh, crack that fat spine. You know I wanna make you mine. This book is stella ’cause it ain’t some quick novella.

If we ruled the world, I guarantee you they never would have cancelled Firefly

New rule: every fantasy author who doesn't treat horses like tireless hairy motorcycles automatically gets a Hugo.

Any factual errors that remain are entirely the fault of Bob, who snuck into the offices at DAW to try to sabotage my book. I hate that guy.