I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer.

Well this is just a fist. But when I start throwing it around I can leave one hell of a mess.

Fear is going to be a player in your life, but you get to decide how much. You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about the pathway to the future, but all it will ever be is what's happening here, the decisions in that we make in this moment, which are based in either love or fear.

I spent most of my time in my room staring at a mirror. I never knew I was supposed to socialize. I just spent hours making faces at myself, having a good time.

When I started out. I'd drive a hundred miles to do my act for free.

If I had never ventured beyond being a stand-up comic, then I would be sitting in my house today working on my Leonardo DiCaprio impression.

I'd like to thank my mother, my father, the Academy. I'm sorry. I was thinking of something else.