Though your major media kept smacking me upside the head with the word "multicultural," you goddamned Australians are the most racist bunch of people I've ever seen in my life.

I think my sense of humor is Jewish. I'm smarter than most white people, which is kind of a Jewish thing, too.

My crazy parents and those crazy Catholic nuns didn't do a good job of forcing me to keep the Ten Commandments, but they kept me forever fixated on the very idea of a taboo.

If anything, I've probably tended more toward humor in my writing and veered more toward pleasure in my personal life.

Anyone who's ever had the misfortune of seeing me interact with house pets knows I have a wickedly strong paternal instinct bordering on the maternal.

I was exposed to violence while I was still in the womb - my father punched my mother in the stomach while she was pregnant with me.

The average human's fundamental project is to find someone else to blame for their problems.