The middle of the road is for yellow lines and dead armadillos.

You have to learn to read between the lies.

Little ol' boy in the Panhandle told me the other day you can still make a small fortune in agriculture. Problem is, you got to start with a large one.

Like NASCAR race drivers or PGA golfers, why not require each of the [US presidential] candidates to cover their clothing, briefcases and staff with the logo patches of their corporate sponsors?

Even a little dog can piss on a big building.

If ignorance goes to forty dollars a barrel, I want drilling rights to George Bush's head.

Do something. If it doesn't work, do something else. No idea is too crazy.