Listening is more important than talking.

I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic.

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg apparently called President Obama directly to complain about NSA and how it spies on ordinary Americans. That's right, the guy who runs Facebook got mad at the NSA for spying on people. Talk about the pot unfriending the kettle!

L.A., its nice, but I think of sunshine and people on rollerblades eating sushi. New York, I think of nighttime, I think of Times Square and Broadway and nightlife and the city that never sleeps.

A 99-year-old man is filing for divorce from his 96-year-old wife, making them the world's oldest divorced couple. It's got to be weird when a divorce lawyer is fighting for your kids to get custody of you.

Honestly, I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with.

Arizona just became the 15th state to approve medical marijuana. So I give it three days before they stop caring about the whole immigration thing.