Democrats have been doing everything they can to get young people and college students to vote in the midterms. Though if you want students to participate in something, maybe you shouldn't call them midterms.

President Obama is in China now for an economic summit in Beijing. The president wore a traditional purple silk shirt along with Chinese President Xi Jinping and Vladimir Putin. That's after they taught Putin how to put a shirt ON.

The BP president said yesterday that the company would survive. That's like someone running over your dog and saying, 'Don't worry, my car is fine.'

People ask me, Jimmy, howd you get here tonight. Lets just say it involved a two-hour make-out session with Elaine Stritch. It got pretty heavy actually, I almost had to host.

Police in Texas arrested a man who was using the alias 'Barack Obama' while trying to steal money from 35 ATMs. They could tell something was up when a guy named Barack Obama was trying to take money from banks instead of giving it to them.

Hillary Clinton is receiving criticism after telling a crowd to 'unlock their full potential,' because that line is commonly used by another possible candidate, Carly Fiorina. People said, 'You can't just steal someone's slogan like that!' And Hillary said, 'Yes we can!'

Ten Delta Airlines baggage handlers were arrested for smuggling drugs into Detroit. Yeah, you can tell Delta was involved, because the drugs were supposed to be smuggled into Chicago.