An Internet rumor claims that John Kerry had an affair with a young woman. When asked if this was similar to the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, a spokesman said 'Close, but no cigar.'

God invented mankind because he loved silly stories. Ralph Steadman I like being absurd.

In an interview, President Obama said he recently deejayed a small dance party at the White House. Obama has a lot in common with deejays. He takes requests and then completely ignores them.

According to a new study, the marijuana in Colorado is almost twice as strong as it was 20 years ago. Of course, people had some questions for the scientists, like 'How can I get your job?'

The acting director of the Secret Service, Joseph Clancy, said they may make the fence around the White House taller because of the recent security failures. When asked if he had any other ideas, he said, 'Uh, make the sidewalk lower?'

Hillary Clinton used a private email account to conduct official state business. Experts say that if this violates any federal rules, then she . . . will still be president.

Yesterday President Obama traveled to Jamaica, where he will meet with students and Caribbean leaders. Jamaica's such a beautiful place, Obama says he can't wait to just take it all in, hold it for several seconds, and then exhale.