John McCain responded to critics who say he's too old for a sixth term by saying that his mother is 103 years old and doing well. The crazy thing is that even she is somehow younger than John McCain.

I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep.

Today Russia announced that it will join America's fight with the terror group ISIS. Then Putin said, "But I did not say which side.

I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg apparently called President Obama directly to complain about NSA and how it spies on ordinary Americans. That's right, the guy who runs Facebook got mad at the NSA for spying on people. Talk about the pot unfriending the kettle!

MSNBC host Lawrence O'Donnell is saying Donald Trump lied when he said he made $20 million a year off his 'Apprentice' series on NBC. NBC also denied Trump's claim, saying, 'We don't have $20 million. We're NBC.'

A major Iowa newspaper published an op-ed against Trump calling him a 'self-absorbed, wholly unqualified feckless blowhard.' Or as Trump put it, 'You forgot very rich ... I'm a very rich, self-absorbed, wholly unqualified feckless blowhard. Very, very rich.'