Most of us manage the fateful things that happen in our lives the best we can, certainly not to a Stalin-like 20-year plan.

I never ever take into consideration the consequences of my actions until it's too late.

I've always liked to think I could do anything I wished as well as - if not better than - a man. But I wasn't very good at rally driving.

I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.

People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.

When you cry, you don't look very attractive; you look snotty and blotchy. People seem to manage to cry quite prettily these days, and to me, that smacks of not being very genuine.

As a comic and as a nurse, it's important to look calm on the surface when you're absolutely crapping yourself inside. So, if someone is waving a machete at you, which has happened to me when I was a nurse, it's important to make that person feel that you're in control.