I used to keep my college roommate from reading my personal mail by hiding it in her textbooks.

The only educational aspect of television is that it puts the repair man's kids through college.

A brook can be a friend in a special way. It talks to you with splashy gurgles. It cools your toes and lets you sit quietly beside it when you don't feel like speaking.

These two guys [Donald Trump and Chris Christie] kinds find each other. They love each other. They were playing let`s spend the night together when I turned the TV in the hotel today. I was like oh, my goodness.But it`s like the worst buddy movie. They degrade women. They steal candy from orphans. They mock the disabled. They pick on teachers. It`s frightening to watch.

I used to keep my college roommate from reading my personal mail by hiding it in her textbooks.

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time: pills or stairs.

Between loving friends there need be no secrets . . . the trusting heart is always safe with another who truly cares.