Once you had put the pieces back together, even though you may look intact, you were never quite the same as you'd been before the fall.

I'm weird. Everyone says so.

To me, a good event is governed by the audience.

I wonder if the conversations you've never had with someone count, if you've been over them a thousand times in your mind.

Every year I tell myself that I’m not going to read any reviews and then I do. We’re all human and when I read something negative it hurts. I think when you write it’s part of the game, you’re going to get some good reviews and some bad reviews and that’s how it goes. I don’t write for the reviews.

Q: How would you like your eggs in the morning? A: Unfertilized

Once, I asked my mom why stars shine. She said they were night-lights, so the angels could find their way around in Heaven. But when I asked my dad, he started talking about gas, and somehow I put it all together and figured that the food God served caused multiple trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night.