You cannot drive with your eyes in the rear-view mirror… But dignity is difficult to maintain. Stamina requires constant upkeep. Repetition is boring. And you pay for grace.

Children are most impressed with the importance of a moment when they witness a parent breaking the parents' own rule.

but writers, Garp knew, were just observers - good and ruthless imitators of human behavior.

Newspapers are even worse for me than ice cream; headlines, and the big issues that generate the headlines, are pure fat.

I have a very poor record at multiple choice questions.

In the world according to her father, Jenny Garp knew, we must have energy. Her famous grandmother, Jenny Fields, once thought of us as Externals, Vital Organs, Absentees, and Goners. But in the world according to Garp, we are all terminal cases.

I don't want you to describe to me—not ever—what you were doing to that poor boy to make him sound like that; but if you ever do it again, please cover his mouth with your hand.