If you asked me one day, I might say, "Well, sometimes I feel a little bit religious." If you asked me another day, I'd just say flat out, "No."

Goodnight you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.

Life is an X-rated soap opera.

My dear boy, please don’t put a label on me—don’t make me a category before you get to know me!

But I felt certain that if the world would stop indulging wars and famines and other perils, it would be possible for human beings to embarrass each other to death. Our self-destruction might take a little longer that way, but I believe it would be no less complete.

Death, it seems," Garp wrote, "does not like to wait until we are prepared for it. Death is indulgent and enjoys, when it can, a flair for the dramatic.

If you feel so strongly about what's on television, don't have one.