When Fortuna spins you downward, go out to a movie and get more out of life.

I suspect that I am the result of particularly weak conception on the part of my father. His sperm was probably emitted in a rather offhand manner.

Psycho? The woman's senile. We had to stop at about thirty gas stations on the way over here. Finally I got tired of getting out of the car and showing her which was the Men's and which was the Women's, so I let her pick them herself. I worked out a system. The law of averages. I laid money on her and she came out about fifty-fifty.

with the breakdown of the medieval system, the gods of chaos, lunacy, and bad taste gained ascendancy.

The human desire for food and sex is relatively equal. If there are armed rapes, why should there not be armed hot dog thefts?

I mingle with my peers or no one, and since I have no peers, I mingle with no one.

I should perhaps warn you that I am about to faint from anxiety and general depression, though. The film I saw last night was especially grueling, a teen-age beach musical. I almost collapsed during the singing sequence on surfboard.