I refuse to "look up." Optimism nauseates me. It is perverse. Since man's fall, his proper position in the universe has been one of misery.

My mother is currently associating with some undesirables who are attempting to transform her into an athlete of sorts, deprave specimens of mankind who regularly bowl their way to oblivion.

It will all end very badly, Gus

Having once been so high, humanity fell so low. What had once been dedicated to the soul was now dedicated to the sale.

When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.

Apparently I lack some particular perversion which today's employer is seeking.

The human desire for food and sex is relatively equal. If there are armed rapes, why should there not be armed hot dog thefts?