Sing of the nature of women, and then the song shall be surely full of variety; old crotchets and most sweet closes. It shall be humorous, grave, fantastic, amorous, melancholy, sprightly, one in all, and all in one.

I'm many things, most of 'em bad. But a man of political principles? No.

I just know that there are two theories when arguing with women. And neither one works.

Looks like the good Lord got your ass and face mixed up.

You couldn't shoot a fart out of your own ass!

We all have problems, and we must solve them together or we die alone.

It's wanting that gets so many folks in trouble.