Russia is a gas station masquerading as a country. It's kleptocracy, it's corruption, it's a nation that's really only dependent upon oil and gas for their economy.

Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly, and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, 'Where is that marvelous ape?'

Why am I running for president? Well, my wife, Cindy, says it is because I sustainedseveral severe blows to the head in prison camp.

We want to work with the Russians. But we also have every right to expect the Russians to behave in a fashion and keeping with a - with a - with a country who respects international boundaries and the norms of international behavior.

Responsibility always stops at the president's desk.

Many good people mistake their reputation for their character. It is a mistake I have made many, many times.

I was an addict. That's why, ... I tell you, addiction is a very cunning enemy.