People always ask me what I'm doing on the subway, but I love it! Sometimes I like to ride in the front car and look out the window at the rats.

I pride myself on the fact that my work has no socially redeeming value.

When I was young, no one wanted to be one; now even the President of the United States would call himself an outsider. So now I'm for insiders.

To use bad taste, you have to know the rules of good taste. I've always thanked my mother for that. She taught how to eat with proper table manners and all that stuff, to the point of rebellion. But I couldn't have rebelled from it if I didn't know it.

Going to a sensational murder trial is the only way I can relax.

"How could you think of such awful things?" liberal critics always ask. "How else could I possibly amuse myself?" I always wonder.

God knows if you could start a new sex act that's more important than making a good movie.