Stop blaming your parents. If you're really angry at 60 years old, you're an idiot! You've got to work some of it out.

I can't tell the difference between the best and the worst 'cause I realize not everybody wants to have sex in the middle of a demolition derby race in the car.

"How could you think of such awful things?" liberal critics always ask. "How else could I possibly amuse myself?" I always wonder.

I don't trust anyone that hasn't been to jail at least once in their life.

When I was young, no one wanted to be one; now even the President of the United States would call himself an outsider. So now I'm for insiders.

People still come to Baltimore and say, "I didn't realize you made documentaries."

Dreamland Studios then was my bedroom at my parents' house, mostly [starring] people who were in my high school. They look straight at the camera; they're uncomfortable doing it. So, are [early movies] good? No.