I'm not a great pothead or anything like that... but weed is much, much less dangerous than alcohol.

When faced with two choices simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for. If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

I don't pretend to be captain weird. I just do what I do.

That pipe, just so happens to lead to the room where I make the most delicious flavored chocolate covered fudge." Then he will be made into strawberry flavoered chocolate covered fudge, they'll be selling him by the pound, all over the world!" No, I wouldn't allow it. The taste would be terrible. Can you imagine Augustus flavored chocolate covered gloop? Ew. No one would buy it.

School's a weird thing. I'm not sure it works.

My kids, they're my energy, my soul, and my nicest friend.

They said, "You get $2 million to make the film, if you're not in it. If you are in it, you get $5 million to make the film." There was no way to make the thing for $2 million, so I made it for $5 million. And then, it turned out there was no way to make the thing for $5 million. That's when it got weird.