Will you ask God to bring you to the place where you're willing to be willing?
The beginning of knowledge is to know thyself a sinner.
Any sin you cover, God uncovers. Any sin you uncover, God covers.
If I don't let God deal with my bentness, I will go the way of my bentness. But Jesus can straighten me out.
You can't forgive your sin. Only God can.
You can't receive forgiveness unless you let God deal with your deceit.