I don't mean to hate people, I just get forced into it.

I love paying tax so much, the sight of a gritter lorry gives me an erection.

Why do fools fall in love? I'll tell you why, because everybody else has simply got too much else to do.

I tend to wear a coat more for the fact that I worry if I'm going to get drunk, I'm going to get pickpocketed. And a coat goes over your pockets so it's harder for someone to get their hand in and steal your phone or wallet out of your pocket. It's an unnecessary level of thinking that may lessen the enjoyment you have out of life.

I know very well that I have no reason to feel aggrieved - I am fully aware of how lucky I am, but knowing it and still being down makes me hate myself all the more.

I don't think I'd have any friends if I didn't obscure at least 99% of my thoughts.

I am in no doubt that if you use the term 'luv' in a letter or text message then you are incapable of truly understanding the emotion. Artists have not pored over heartache and unrequited sentimentality for years so that our generation could decide that four letters is simply one too many to express how we feel.