Live every day as your last, because one of these days, it will be.

Punning is an art of harmonious jingling upon words, which, passing in at the ears, excites a titillary motion in those parts; and this, being conveyed by the animal spirits into the muscles of the face, raises the cockles of the heart.

There is no quality so contrary to any nature which one cannot affect, and put on upon occasion, in order to serve an interest.

It is in disputes as in armies, where the weaker side sets up false lights, and makes a great noise, to make the enemy believe them more numerous and strong than they really are.

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Just get the right syllable in the proper place.

And surely one of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish had been left unsaid.